Ignorance is bliss~

Sorry... Forgot on what to write the moment I login to post my new blog...

Well, never mind about that, it's not that I care about what'll happen to me anyway. For the whole recent years I've been very not-so-talkative and very bad with socializing. Pretty much I can say to myself, I'm an anti-social person.

Reason why I've become such person? It never happen before before I hit puberty on every circumstances. Let's say I've inhibit those habit when my family moved to another town in another district because of work and yes, we kids have to tag along as well.

What happen afterwards? Total noobians (you don't have to understand the meaning for it) if you ask me. I speak with different dialect at that town and when some people can't easily accept my way of speaking, it left a trauma inside me. Then when some people approach me, I can't put into words for replying his question. The habit soon got worse and I've become a very mute person everywhere except in my home.

I can't seem to break the ice easily even with my best friends were around. I can't express my feeling very well and felt that I was left alone whenever we're in a group conversation. And that... is my weakness...

Fallen for depression, I didn't do anything to correct it, instead... I let it grow inside me and starting to neglect the real world and most of the time I jumped into another world called imagination. Inside there, I feel really calm and I can imagine almost everything... Being a hero, piloting a robot, have superpower, everything I can imagine of. Anime, manga and games were fuel for my imagination. It's like... when I got separated from those 3 elements, I can't get a hold of myself and sometimes I'll be in total depression...

When that happen, I neglect my studies, focusing on drawing cartoons... Goofing around, imagining things... That's my life cycle when I was still a high school student. When I graduated from school, I jumped into university, hoping that I can remove those despair I had before I graduated. Instead, it overcome me first, unable to cope with changes in my lifestyle.

Because of that, I can't keep up with my studies and I fail on the subjects where my mind can't feel the most of it. 2 years later, I couldn't go on any further and I literally quit college and got scolded for my action. No matter what I do, I can't seem to 'want to continue studying' afterwards.

Now I'm just getting myself a lowlife job when I can earned some cash for living but pretty much fun to work with since it's all about computer and stuff. I just hope that I can stay there long enough to make me a real 'adult'... I've been living in a nutshell for so long as I can remember and I want to changes, slowly where i can cope sooner or later and when I realize it, I've changed that much...

Thanks for everyone especially my friends and family for supporting this no good person during those years I've been ignorance, lazy, stupid, anything you might want to call me. Thank you very much... ~if this post is readed...